OH, THE DRINKS YOU CAN THINK! 

 

I could sip from my snifter a bourbonly brew

I could chug from my mug Pisco Punch from Peru

I could pair primo port with that torte by the sink

But imagine the other great drinks I could think!

 

Oh, the drinks I could think up if only I shake!

If I shake, I’ll astound with the cocktails I’ll make

But I don’t have to shake; I could stir with a spoon 

You’ll be over the moon with the scent of my spoon!

 

Now, Martinis are tricky: to shake or to stir?

That depends on how picky the gin connoisseur

Some prefer extra dry — just a rinse of vermouth

(Though you needn’t ask why, lest you risk the uncouth)

 

I could add just a smidgen, a dash, or a dollop

of spices that pack a persnickety wallop

I’ll squeeze in some citrus, or syrup that's simple

or droplets of bitters (the size of a pimple)

I'll garnish with rosemary, basil, and thyme

Sea that salt on the rim? Well, it's coated with lime

I can make your drinks sweet, slightly salty, or sour 

to tantalize taste buds at every odd hour 

You'll ponder which jigger is smaller or bigger

as flavors converge with my verve (and some vigor)!

 

Oh, the drinks I can think!

 

Just think of Negronis with aged pepperonis

(or even a side of Icelandic bolognas) 

Just think of the mezcal (just south of the border)

so smokey and smooth — if you know what to order

Just think of the colors, the opulent hues

From the palest of pinks, to the softest of blues! 

Think of navals, think fuzz, think of sex on the beach! 

Think of cranberry cosmos — with essence of peach 

Just imagine the drinks from your wildest dreams

I could build by myself (or in synchronized teams)

 

But stop! Think of schnapps! 

Think of schnapps in my shop with some cherries on top 

 

Where’s the ice?

 

I can freeze it in cubes, I can freeze it in spheres

I can stand in the snow ‘til ice comes out my ears!

You can buy your ice dry, or hand-chipped by the block

When it comes to ice, boy, one cannot overstock!

(For you see, tepid drinks may elicit a squawk)

 

Summer shandies, winter brandies

Feeling frisky? Smash some whiskey!

Got the jitters? Try some bitters

Nine-to-fiver? Corpse Reviver

 

Just you think:

 

On the rim, on the rocks, in my stripiest socks

Serve it neat, with the peat, in my favorite seat

Use my fist with a twist (and a lemongrass mist)

In a highball or coupe from my cocktailing stoep

There are so many drinks I could dump down the sink

Yet a tinker (or two) could revive them, I think! 

 

But what about you? 

 

Can you craft a concoction with alchemist eyes?

Can you mixologize in a formal disguise? 

Can you build a Martini befitting Versailles?

Are your fingertips swift like a chef-samurai?

Can your cocktailing sting like a bee-butterfly? 

Only one thing's for sure: we won't know 'til you try!

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